Why do men do sex chat
In Part 1 we explored the personality type associated with traits of borderline personality disorder, or BPD, and the unusual pattern of Dr. Hyde transformation that so many of these women go through when they enter a romantic relationship.
With this understanding of what makes the woman with traits of BPD engage in these destructive behavior patterns, let’s now turn to the question of why so many men stay even when it’s clear that the woman they are with is not capable of sustaining a healthy relationship.
When we don’t, our relationship partners experience our selfish actions as a mild form of betrayal of our relationship agreement.
These minor betrayals over agreements to make each other feel safe in the relationship and to keep things fair for both people are at the heart of most of our everyday arguments.
What they tend to overlook is the fact that betrayal happens on a much more subtle level every day in all of our relationships.
Either way, without an ironclad guarantee that she cannot be hurt, she will be unwilling to trust him again.
Their focus and commitment to their relationship keeps them on the straight and narrow. Because women with traits of BPD are not capable of withstanding any kind of betrayal, the nice-guy type’s ability to override selfish impulses and give to her consistently turns him into her perfect knight in shining armor.
She believes he will provide her with the kind of guarantee that she knows she must have in order to feel safe in a relationship.
Although we usually assume high emotionality would be an asset in a relationship because it motivates loving behavior, too much emotionality actually turns out to be a liability.
Surprisingly, relationship skills are linked to a person’s ability to follow the rules.