Dating county down
Friday Been chatting to someone cute for three days now.He’s asked to meet but he's not showing his teeth in any of the photos.Would it be impolite to ask him to Snapchat me a gum-shot, so I can be sure he's not a toothless hick?His main profile pic includes three of his mates (those are almost worse than the sneaky selfies because you don't know if you've pulled an alpha male or his loser friend) but we have a mutual acquaintance who assures me he's a "safe bloke". He's exactly the sort of 20-something that Tinder or Ok Cupid would welcome: hip, active on social media, possibly polygamous (a cheat), but authentic and upfront about it.After ten minutes of contemplating if this is the Universe's way of telling me that I‘m not compatible with any men (Mum's been saying it for years), I realign my social-media gender.I promptly get trigger-happy and tick "yes" to a local lad who “likes” me too. Maybe I'm being a tad picky for someone using a free hookup app?
He's cute so I take the ethnographic approach as he describes the back-and-forth of flirting on Tinder as “tedious intellectual foreplay." He tells me he’s met up with several Tinderers with the sole aim of having sex almost immediately – a game plan that has seen him ditched more times than it’s worked.
We held hands as we walked to his place, kissing on a quiet square in Clerkenwell and I felt like a spontaneous 17-year-old …
Well, right up until this morning, when he asked me how I rated the sex so far from one to 10.
On closer inspection, his pics are all selfies, which screams "I’m vain and don’t have any friends to take pics of me.” Another cutie introduces himself with a coy "heyyy" (words are stretched out on Tinder, for some reason – "How are you? ") but I note his height in comparison to his friends in group shots. Tuesday My sociopathic curiosity and appetite for constant validation are fuelled by Tinder's addictive swipe function.
I start consuming hundreds of profiles on boring journeys or in queues for a slow barista.