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I know you say most men are marriage-minded underneath but they seem much less interested in getting into a stable, committed relationship than women do, and seem to drag their heels.
Some of the things I hate about being single are (in no particular order): lack of love, affection and emotional support; not having someone to go on vacation with; not having someone to share domestic tasks with; being excluded from social gatherings because I don’t have a partner; not having someone to talk to at home on a day to day basis; having to cope with the financial burden of being single (apartment, bills etc.); not having a regular source of quality sex available.
Seriously, apart from “The Game” have you ever seen a relationship book for men that’s sold in airport bookstores?
• Women maintain closer friendships throughout life. She has friends who talk to their daughters every day.
Surely these things apply to men just as much as women?
If this is the case, why aren’t men jumping up and down with excitement when they meet someone they connect with, like we are?
Sex – Perhaps Charlie Sheen said it best, years ago, when talking about his predilection for prostitutes: “I don’t pay them for sex. As a result of all of these biological and societal observations about men, it shouldn’t be too surprising that there are no Time Magazine cover stories or best-selling books about desperate men. Why are you okay not being in a relationship – and how is this different than the women you know? I agree that women have outlandishly unrealistic expectations for love and relationships.
I just think there are more men than women who are okay with low-investment, low-return, that’s all. I can only imagine there are millions of women who haven’t contacted me who continue to immerse themselves in that worldview that success and accomplishment matters more than love. And nowhere is that clearer than in the realm of relationships.
A few thoughts off the top of my head:• Over twice as many women take anti-depressants, compared to men.
My mom, for example: she volunteers at the hospital, she tap dances in the musical at her clubhouse, she plays canasta with the girls twice a week, she does Sudoku in her garden, she’s on the party-planning committee… So when they lack a partner, they’ll be disproportionately sadder than men, who just bury themselves in more work and (sometimes) play.
and while she misses a travel companion, movie companion and regular sex, life is pretty much okay as it is. Men are more likely to define themselves by their careers – What do I do? Then again, many of my smart, strong, successful clients also bury themselves in their work for a decade, and emerge from their cocoon of success and travel, only to learn that they’re really, really lonely. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: men need more help; women ask for more help.