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Generally, the pressure to split up comes from the family since, after all, in China, marriage is a family affair.

There was one Chinese boyfriend who told me, flat out, that his parents would never accept me.

Still, despite the odds, sterotypes and other barriers, it does happen that Chinese men and foreign women get together.

It happened for me — and a growing number of other women, including bloggers such as the Local Dialect, The Downtown Diner, and Wo Ai Ni.

It’s because I’m often seen holding hands with my Chinese husband.

Rarely have they been depicted with traditionally masculine traits.

With a few exceptions, Asian men on screen have been small, sneaky and threatening — or spineless, emasculated wimps, or incompetents who may well be technically proficient in martial arts, but impotent when faced with white man’s superior strength or firepower. Even today, Asian American men complain that action heroes such as Chow Yun Fat and Jackie Chan rarely get the girl.

Not because he’s a Chinese man, or because our relationship is “unique” or different.

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